SATs Starfleet Administered Tests
by Secrets-in-Desguise
Summary: Crack! Another of Ri's; humor this time - girl has a wicked sense of humor: Chatroom format, T for language: Kirk doesn't understand the scoring system so he feels the need to wake Bones to explain it, nearly giving the poor Doc a heart attack... XD


Once again, Ri has written some stuff and cannot post! Poor gal. So understand that I did not write this... Well, actually.... This little bit o' crack was inspired by a real life text convo between me and Ri... basically this is how it went down, except that I was Bones and she was Kirk... and those weren't her actually scores. And the Spock stuff was an add in. But other than that, the words are hers and mine, including swears and "Dammit Jim! I'm a doctor not a... Cause we make Trek jokes like the dorks that we are.

Oh, and there is Kirk/Spock hints at the end. Cause that's how we roll.

* * *

You have now entered the Starfleet Chatroom; Ship: Enterprise.

JTKool4u: has logged on.

JTKool4u: Bones!

Country_Doc is not available would you like to send this as a message? YES!!! No

JTKool4u: Bones!

JTKool4u: BONES!

JTKool4u: BoNeS!

JTKool4u: bOnEs!

JTKool4u: Bones?

JTKool4u: Bones?

JTKool4u: Bones.

JTKool4u: Help!

JTKool4u: Pay attn. u old coot!

JTKool4u: Help me!

JTKool4u: Boooooones!

Country_Doc: has logged on.

Country_Doc: Whats Wrong!!!

JTKool4u: What r u supposed to score on the SATs (Starfleet Administered Tests)?

Country_Doc: What???

Country_Doc: there isnt a requirement you crazy idiot!

JTKool4u: i know, but if there was one i think i'd have failed.

Country_Doc: Tell me what u got.

JTKool4u: No just tell me! Tell me!

JTKool4u: Pretty pretty pleeeeeease. *flashes most charming smile*

Country_Doc: Dannit Jim the pretty boy routine doesn't work on me! Total score?

Country_Doc: Dammit! i ment *dammit!

JTKool4u: As ur commanding officer i order u 2 tell me!!!

JTKool4u: i don't know what a total score is?! How do u get a total score!?!

Country_Doc: Jim. Jus tell me what u got and i'll tell u how u did.

JTKool4u: No! Tell me what i'm supposed to get!

Country_Doc: ...

JTKool4u: Bones!

Country_Doc: The total amount of points for crit read, write, & math is 2400. The composite score is math an crit read at 1600.

JTKool4u: Ahhh! i'm going to lose my crew and my job and my room and best friends and my ship! My lovely ship! Shit!

Country_Doc: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU GET!!!

JTKool4u: 2000 an 1300

Country_Doc: Those r good!

JTKool4u: But, but thats like a 70!

Country_Doc: Now Jim i know u've never got a 70 in ur life, but THATS FUCKING GOOD! Jillian got 1720 and 1200 and shes flipping out!

Country_Doc: for joy!

JTKool4u: Oh…Yeah!

JTKool4u: And just what are u talking 2 Captain "Jillian" about huh? Huh? *Nudges*

JTKool4u: First name basis, Bones?

Country_Doc: Shut up Jim!

JTKool4u: Thanks for explaining it to me man. *pats on back* Don't know what I would've done without you.

Country_Doc: Jesusfuckinchristman! U nearly gave me a fucking HEART ATTACK!!! Do you know what stress does to a man's body at my age?!

Country_Doc: I thought somebody had DIED!

JTKool4u: but, but i thought i failed! I thought they were taking her away from me!

Country_Doc: Holy Shit! Well now u kno!

Spock: has logged on

JTKool4u: Dammit Jim?

Country_Doc: yes! Dammit Jim! I'm a doctor not a guidance counselor!

JTKool4u: But I don't have a guid. counselor.

Spock: Captain I must request that you stop agitating Doctor McCoy as he is disturbing the rest of the ship with his yelling and we cannot depend on him for any sort of control of his emotions.

Country_Doc: shut ur mouth you green blooded hobgoblin! What kind of a screen name is Spock anyway u damn computer. No imagination i tel you.

Country_Doc: And that doesnt make me ur counselor dammit!

JTKool4u: Actually it does.

Spock: I see no logical reason to change the name given to me by my parents Doctor.

Country_Doc: Cause thats just how its done man!

Country_Doc: Thats nice Jim. can i go back to bed now?

JTKool4u: What about breakfast?

Country_Doc: Its 2 in the fucking morning you crazy idiot!

JTKool4u: So?

Country_Doc: Good night jim.

Country_Doc: has logged off.

Spock: Your persistence in harassing Doctor McCoy at such times in the morning is most illogical Captain.

JTKool4u: Nah, i just add i little excitement 2 his night.

JTKool4u: Hey Spock, wanna come over for a mid-night "snack?"

Spock: I do not understand the human propensity for metaphors, but I do believe I would not be adverse to your suggestion.

JTKool4u: ;D See you there big guy.

JTKool4u: has logged off.

Spock: has logged off.


End file.
